Day 25
Diaries are a meaningful tool in expressing thoughts about a wide variety of feelings, including current life issues.
Diaries are also for memories. Those that made our life more exciting and shaped it influenced it, without us having an understanding at the first how that has happened.
From my first day in primary school, I was writing something. In those days when education was substantial not in the number of pages but in the information given to us to become good people, we were encouraged and by parents and by teachers to keep the diary. And the majority of us have done it in different forms. I remember that we kept the diary having to glue the famous paintings with a short explanation about each picture! That is how the taste for beauty is created together with shaping the brain towards common sense and expressing, not suppressing the feelings.
That diary is long gone, but I remember a couple of lines. To be precise, I remember the feelings pure and innocent. In my first four years in primary school, I was in love with Andriana. She had a tween sister called Alexandra. They were dizygotic tweens, meaning that they did not look like real twins as each twin developed from a separate egg, and each egg was fertilized by its own sperm. When you are interested in someone or something, you learn fast!
We were the same age, and our classrooms were one next to another. I was stunned by her beauty! Long blondish hair, tall, open green towards turquoise eyes with a proud, curious, humble look. After, I found out that she was looking like Grace Kelly! In vain, I tried and tried to provoke her interest. She liked sports, and since I was one of the fastest, if not the fastest, in my generation, I noticed that she was observing me from a distance! She was felling that I radiated energy towards her! Right, I did!
So we were looking at each other, me with greater interest, her with a calm but firm interest, not giving me a chance to come as close as I wanted. Platonic, pure platonic feelings.
After three years passed somehow, and my feelings instead do decrease increased to the level that I needed to react not to face qualm in the future for not expressing my pure emotion.
I found the strength to express my love to her! It happened like in Netflix movie “Crazy Stupid Love”! However, instead of “Jesica,” I went to her classroom and shout towards her with full lungs,” Andriana, I love you!”
She got astonished and immediately went under the table! My God, I was red in all parts of my body, realizing how stupid I behaved! But it has been done and I never regret it! We did not have any relation, but I know, through her sister Alexandra that she secretly had an interest in me.
She didn’t give me her photos as a present when I was changing school as Jesica gave to Robbie Weaver, but we definitely stayed in one another memory never to be forgotten. And as you see, it is here now as a memory for humble, human, platonic love only humans can express!
Did we forget what humble, human, spiritual love is?
NOOOOO! We did not! We might temporarily store it in some corner of our soul but, for all to be very sure, we will awake it and not forget.
21/4/2020
Philosophyofgoodnews
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